Friday's Answer: Keeping the Experienced Coming Back

How do you keep experienced homeschoolers in your homeschool group when they do not feel they need the support anymore? When they leave, it leaves a group new homeschooler heavy. What to do? No sense in piling guilt and more to do on top of an already overburdened home educator!

Support groups and co-ops grow because homeschoolers have needs. They need to know they are not alone; they need encouragement and affirmation to keep going; they need help with a particular subject; they need like-minded friends for themselves and their children; they need to know how to homeschool. These needs drive them to join a group, to find their niche and pull their weight.

When experienced homeschoolers have several years under their belt, their needs change and actually lighten. They are now confident in their own style of homeschooling; they have already developed lasting friendships; they know their plans for the next subject; they are willing to stand alone; and they realize the need for being home. All of sudden you as a leader realize that they are not coming to the group anymore. If you are an experienced homeschooler yourself, you may even feel left alone.

Drawing these experienced homeschoolers back into the group takes time and patience and understanding. Consider these steps that can bring experienced members back into the group:

1. Give them freedom ~ Do not nag them to be at every event. Realize they have learned the wisdom to choose events carefully for their family's time and best purposes.
2. Give them space ~ Let them relax and have a good time without always expecting them to answer every question and take care of every need. Don't interrupt their conversations, wear them out, or give them a reason to avoid the group.
3. Give them the support they need ~ Ask these important members what each one in their family needs now. Listen to what excites them and their family, what they would like to be involved in, what questions they are wondering, and where their focus is taking them. Take a few cues and create fresh, new support, new topics or new activities that will get them involved and bless them where they are.
4. Give them a Smoother Way ~ One member of the group can teach the wonderful program of Smoothing the Way to all the newbies. This will free up the experienced members from having to answer the same questions over and over from the new members. Also, your newbies will grow experienced quickly from the wisdom of Mary James in this once-a-month support class. See this wonderful program here.

We know it's difficult to balance the needs of all the members in your group, but you can do this. Just relax, listen and be patiently consistent in supporting these wonderful, experienced homeschoolers. Watch for our new e-book on motivating your members that will be packed with even more advice on drawing and inspiring experienced homeschoolers.

May your day be smooth,

Denise and Kristen

http://www.homeschoolgroupleader.com/

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Friday's Answer: Starting a Homeschool Co-op

Is there a step-by-step check off list for starting a coop?

It can be difficult to know how to move forward from the idea of starting a co-op to actually getting one up and running successfully. Many homeschool groups forge ahead, take the risk and learn from their own experiences--whether good or bad.

Some groups start small with only a class or two at first to test the waters and gain success by methodically learning and repeating what works the next time around. Others are blessed to have communication with other groups that have been successful and gain valuable insight from their experience and repeat that.

We can suggest some helpful tools that can get you off to a great start to your successful homeschool co-op. There is a great book by our friend in Ohio, Carol Topp, called
Homeschool Co-ops: How to Start Them, Run Them and Not Burn Out. Her wisdom will be a great help to anyone involved in leading a co-op.

A proven method to start a co-op within your local church is with the full support system and ideas of First Class Ministries. Heidi St. John has a heart to support homeschoolers and group leaders with an exciting arsenal of materials to make your co-op successful from the get-go.

Let's chat and share experiences and insight for starting a homeschool co-op on our Facebook page! We can learn so much from each other!

What would your best tip be for this homeschool group leader who wants to start a co-op? Write a quick response here as a comment (see below) or simply answer on our discussion page.

Have a wonderful day!
Denise & Kristen
www.homeschoolgroupleader.com

Tuesday's Tip

Host a Newbie Night

Throw a welcome party and show a simple video or slideshow of the different activities your group does. A cruise theme of “Welcome Aboard!” could build anticipation for the coming year’s home schooling adventure. Circulate or post group event sign up sheets to give your guests an opportunity to volunteer.

Tuesday's Tip

Ah, Chocolat!

Chocolate is a great motivator. Host a chocolate dessert fellowship for your leadership to say "Thanks! You are a SWEET addition to our leadership team." Remember to tuck some attractive certificates of appreciation into your portable file folder to carry to the fellowship.

Friday's Answer: Keeping Teens Interested

Our homeschool group is centered around kid activities (field trips, events, etc) while still supporting the moms. How do you keep the teens interested in the homeschool group?

Many times a support group begins in response to the need of supporting moms or socializing young children. As the children grow, the group usually metamorphoses with them to offer more structured activites like field trips or classes. But as the children grow into their teen years, what's a group to do to meet the needs of this age group? Can the group add to it's already-full schedule to meet the teens' needs?

Yes, it is possible to keep the teens interested and take care of their needs. Here are a few simple ideas to kickstart your teen activities. We will have a ton more in our upcoming ebook!

1. Watch and pray ~ It can be extremely helpful to have a leader specifically planning activities or classes for teens. Pray that the Lord will lead you to the right person to fill this need. He can lay the need and desire on their heart. He cares for the teens and has already laid it on your heart to pay attention to their needs.
2. Ask and evaluate ~ Find out what the greatest needs or fears or desires are that the teens in the group have. What ways do they wish to socialize or serve or learn? Then you have a direction to move toward.
3. Create and provide ~ Be creative in meeting their needs. If they fear the SAT's coming up, start a study group to prepare for it. If they need specialized subjects for college requirements, look for a teacher to provide a class for credit. If they desire to find out more about career paths, provide field trips for teens exploring their options.
4. Be radical ~ If you have more teens than young children, it is possible your whole group needs to change its complete focus to meet the older group's needs. Park days may need to change to skating rink socials or hanging-out, game times at a home. Other children's activities may be need to be exchanged for debate teams, driver's ed classes or high school subject clubs. And don't forget--the moms are going to need different support than before, too.

It can be daunting to look at revamping your whole group, but it is well worth it to keep your teens interested. Not only does it keep them interested in the group, but having teen social activities and oportunities for answers to their future also keeps them excited about homeschooling in general. This wonderfully supports your group's families and helps them accomplish their goals of homeschooling through high school with a happy teen.

God bless,

Denise & Kristen

P.S. We are excited about our soon to come ebook that will be packed with ideas for making every type member of your group excited about being a part of it!

http://www.homeschoolgroupleader.com/

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Tuesday's Tip

Keep a Sense of Humor

A foolish sense of humor will harm you and others, but using a kind, humorous comment can break the ice, lift the mood or bring people together. If you will laugh later about a mistake, try to laugh now. Dwight D. Eisenhower said, " A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done."

Friday's Answer: Set the Example

How do I help others interact positively in the group?

Probably the greatest thing you as a leader can do to help others interact positively in your group is to set the example.


Are you interacting positively with others in the group? Do your group members see you smiling and real (we honestly can't be "up" all the time)? Do you introduce yourself to new visitors and make sure they meet at least one other person? Do you look for those members sitting alone who you can sit and visit with and get to know a little better?


Or do you scuttle around only taking care of business, absorbed in the pressing tasks at hand. If you feel you have no time to build relationships, think again. You can delegate tasks. But relationships are the backbone of your group, so make sure you are purposefully interacting with your members, getting to know them better and letting them get to know you.


You'll both be the better for it!
Kristen & Denise

www.homeschoolgroupleader.com

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Friday's Answer: Top 10 Ways to Torture a Tired Leader

How do we deal with problem members?

There will always be problem people who do not consider the work and time that you as a homeschool group leader put into all you do. Sometimes it is a thankless job that gets compounded by those thoughtless members who make you sigh.

We at Homeschool Group Leader applaud your dedication, your service, and your sacrifice! In honor of your job well done, we are offering a little truthful humor written to the guilty ones to help brighten your day. We are not responsible if you hand this out to your members!

Top 10 Ways to Torture a Tired Leader!

1. Don’t Listen ~ Talk all during the announcements, the meeting discussions and while your leader shares important information.
2. Be Clueless ~ Ask your leader repeated questions about the information that you didn’t just listen to. Send them one-line questions in individual emails spread out over time.
3. Fill Other Members' E-mail In Boxes ~ Send your repeated questions and comments to everyone on the list, filling all in-boxes, instead of only the in-box of the leader to whom you're writing.
4. Quit at the Last Second ~ Volunteer to help with, or better yet--lead--an activity, then back out at the very end, leaving it all for the leader to complete.
5. Gossip ~ Discuss the leader’s clothes, kids, home life, homeschool, and leadership style --openly and with great fervor.
6. Complain ~ Never be happy with the place, the decisions, the agenda, the trips, the teachers, or the way the leader looks at you.
7. Show Up Late ~ Choose carefully the events that need to start at a specific time and strategically and systematically show up 15 or 30 minutes late.
8. Never Help Clean Up ~ Don’t stay after any event and help clean up. After all, isn’t that what the leader is there for??
9. Don’t Watch Your Kids ~ Let them run wild or talk while someone else is talking. Then get offended when someone asks them to be quiet or to sit down.
10. Be Demanding ~ Always express your opinion as fact. Be sure you speak every time someone else does, making sure that your frustrations and wants are very clear each time.

P.S. For more help on dealing with problem members. . .

May you have a light-hearted, problem-free day today,

Denise & Kristen

http://www.homeschoolgroupleader.com/

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Friday's Answer: Are You Bossy?

I suppose my biggest question is: "How to make sure you don't sound too bossy?"

We love volunteer leaders--especially humble ones like this lady who desire to lead and do a good job, and yet not be overbearing or bossy to the ones she is serving. This important balance begins with the heart and then results with the tone and words of the tongue.

"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

Looking at this time-tested truth gives us a mirror by which to see our own heart. It also encourages within us the desire for a pure heart filled with good treasure from which will flow out the right words and tone for proper leadership. Here are 3 good treasures to safeguard in our hearts to avoid sounding bossy:

1. Grace ~ Graciousness is such a lovely word and lovely characteristic that we would love to embody it and exemplify it to our society. Graciousness always thinks the best of others, sees their best, overlooks their faults (because we all have them), and makes others feel comfortable and accepted without lowering one's own standards.



2. Gentleness ~ This fruit of the Spirit produces a kind and gentle heart that will always deal with every person and situation with the right tone of voice. Your members will see your gentle, caring spirit and know that your firm decisions are made with thoughtfulness, considering their perspective and keeping the group's best interests in mind.



3. Humility ~ Keeping yourself humble before God and man will give you the ability to lead without being bossy. If you never see yourself as better than those you serve, you can stand with the confidence of not overlording. This is a treasure of the heart that comes from spending time with God, realizing your own sinfulness because of the purity of His presence, repenting, and asking for a pure heart.

Our time here on earth will not be perfect and neither will our tone or motives always be right. But we can continue to store up wonderfully good treasure in our hearts so that our good works will be seen before men and glorify God. Through it all, we can rest and not worry.

Our tone of voice can be worked on, but it is ultimately only our heart that will keep us leading our group's families with grace and kindness. We all have different styles, different personalities, and different voices, but people will sense your humble, gentle and gracious heart from the treasures you are storing within.

Rejoicing in His perfecting power,
Denise & Kristen

http://www.homeschoolgroupleader.com/

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Tuesday's Tip

Keep it all together!

A stylish bag or expandable file can be a pleasurable reminder to keep all of your group's pertinent information organized in one travel-friendly place. Always ready for you, it will ensure you have what you need at your fingertips during every event or meeting. Remember to tuck a group phone list inside. Knowing where everything is will also help keep your sanity all together!

Friday's Answer: Balancing Act! Part 1

How do I balance the demands of leadership with my family and own homeschool?

Ever feel like the circus performer with all the plates spinning in the air at once on very thin poles? Homeschool group leaders often find themselves suddenly spinning several plates in the air at once, trying to find the delicate balance between their group responsibilities, their homeschooling responsibilities and their family responsibilities. Not to mention being perky and loving at all times to all people, especially family members!

It often feels impossible. But striking a balance between these important and necessary responsibilities is critical to avoiding burnout as a leader.

Try these three things to help you find the balance:

* SET A DATE-- Where do you need some protected time? Find some time each week that nothing can infringe upon. For our family, it was Family Night on Tuesday nights. To preserve precious family time, we set aside one night a week to just "BE" with one another. We might play games, watch a movie, go out to eat or do absolutely nothing. The point was that it was OUR family's choice how that night went, and we didn't let anything else get scheduled on that night. It was sacred time.

* SET A TIME--Is school time hit or miss at your house? Do your kids know what's expected each day? To help my elementary-aged children keep on task with their lessons, I had to set aside a specific time for their lessons--and then I had to be accessible to them to answer their questions and hold them accountable. I might be close by doing laundry or I might actually sit at the kitchen table and grade past lessons, but my children functioned so much better when I was available consistently to them during schooltime.

* SET A ROUTINE--It has been proven over and over that people are more productive when they work within the boundaries of a routine. For me as a leader, that meant that our family schooled in the mornings; I worked on group things in the afternoon and family things came after 5 pm. This helped me so much to avoid neglecting these very important areas of my life. I discovered that I got more done within each area and what didn't get done could wait till the next day--the world did not stop turning!

I resisted structure in my life for so many years. It is exciting to live by the seat of your pants, but not always effective. At least, not on a day in-day out basis. Rushing from one crisis to the next can leave a leader feeling like she's spinning out of control. When I finally gave myself permission to set a date, set a time and set a routine, I became more effective all the way around.

Blessings as you find your balance,
Kristen

www.homeschoolgroupleader.com

Friday's Answer: Overthrowing Dictator Tendencies

"How do you lead a group without becoming a dictator?"

True-to-life nightmares can begin while working under a leader who acts like a dictator. Their controlling spirit leads others by fear, intimidation and micromanagement. Members have to salutely follow or get out of the way while watching their backs.

A wise homeschool group leader never wants to come close to being a dictator, but does desire to truly lead others selflessly and compassionately. Don't worry; the balance between surpassing weakness and avoiding oppression can be achieved by keeping in mind these simple points:

1. Lead with Confidence--In my desire to not be tyrant-like, I can struggle with being too easy-going--shying away from asking others to help bear the load or taking too much time to make a decision. Remember (as I do to overcome this tendency) that others do need and expect you to lead, take charge and make good decisions. You can earn respect with thoughtful decisiveness.


2. Lead with Heart--Care about your members. Spend time getting to know each family (including the children). Nothing can replace the knowledge that you care for them and have their best interests at heart. They will see your genuine love and happily follow your lead.


3. Lead with Freedom--Allowing the free flow of ideas encourages creativity. Say "yes" as much as you can (as much as it fits with your vision statement) and stimulate self-motivation. Give your members the chance to learn and grow, succeed or fail, in a safe environment. Step in only when necessary to help them succeed.


4. Lead with Courage--Stand quietly confident in all situations by giving the complete control to the Lord. When difficulties come, pray. Don't resort to anger or fear. These inferior responses will only lead to the intimidating tactics of dictators and tyrants. Overcome anger and fear through prayer and love and a pure heart. When you have done all, stand.

Sometimes your biggest criticisms and conflict will stem, not from you, but from a member who has a controlling spirit. I have seen some members who bucked against answering to any type of authority (from getting approval for projects to any of the groups' rules). I have seen these members go out and start their own group, running it with complete, absolute authority. They always want to be in control.

Wise leaders know it is truly about God being in control. These leaders lead with courage, freedom, heart and confidence, overthrowing any tendencies towards fear or anger. They are free and you can be, too!

Caring for you,
Denise

www.homeschoolgroupleader.com
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Friday's Answer: Motivated from Within

How to get parents to help out?

Being married to a youth minister, I have had a lot of opportunity to work with parents and try to get them involved.

The secret key is motivating them to get involved. But how do you do that?

I have discovered that people will act when they feel motivated from within. My job as a leader, then, is to inspire that inner motivation--to help them get excited about something. The truth be told, most of us get excited when something benefits us.

So, make it benefit your parents to get involved. Let me give you a recent example that illustrates three simple ways you can motivate your parents to help out.

Just yesterday I was working on our youth group newsletter that we hand out to the teens and their parents each month. There's secret number one: personal touch. We all need to feel cared for and loved. I like to personally hand the newsletters out to the parents and make eye contact with each one, engaging them with a simple question about their family. I have found that appropriate, personal touch, no matter how simple, is a great motivator.

In the newsletter, we run a column called "Parent Corner." In that column we've run some pretty cool and helpful stuff. Do the parents read it? I'm not sure. So, I'm on a mission to find out. Here's secret number two: pave the path to action. Since my husband wants to get the parents used to regularly visiting the youth group web site for information, I am going to ask them in the Parent Corner to answer ONE question. The trick is that they have to go to the web site to answer it, following the link we post in the column. We will regularly have a new question or interesting poll to help the parents get used to going to the web site.

A third secret to getting parents to help out is to reward them. You may balk at this (and I don't blame you), but hear me out--it works. People are motivated when they get something for their effort. My husband did some quick math last night in his head and figured that if he offers a gift certificate each month to a randomly-drawn answerer, it will be money well spent because of the benefit to our whole group of having parents willing to act when asked.

So, I suggest three ways to get parents to help out:
* personal touch
* pave the path to action
* reward them

Motivating members to move from apathy to action is a fun challenge, and a very do-able one. Be creative, be personal, be generous and let us all know how it goes and what you tried. We'll be watching for your helpful comment! :-)

How's that for a call-to-action? Now, what am I going to give you? . . .
Kristen
www.homeschoolgroupleader.com

Tuesday's Tip

Taming the Gossip Monster!

If you hear gossip, do not be intimidated.

You can diffuse the negative talk with a strategically-placed, simple, positive statement. . . or, if you can't do that, just walk away. Standing there and listening only serves to feed the gossip monster.

Friday's Answer: Connect, Listen, & Reward

How do you get the majority of members to get involved?

Servant leaders, including all homeschool group leaders, are always looking for their members to be involved. This is not because they want to impress with large numbers, but because they wisely realize that to lead successfully they must have followers and to serve faithfully they must have people to serve.

Promote your group's percentage of member involvement by consistently following these 3 vital guidelines:

1. Help them feel connected. Families that have at least 2 other friends in the group will be comfortable and excited to participate and join the activities.


2. Listen to their needs. Know the needs of your members by getting to know them, asking them regularly, and taking polls. As specific needs are met, involvement will grow.


3. Reward them with praise. A warm smile, a word of appreciation and a sincere compliment will lift their spirits and draw them to you and your group again and again.

There are so many ways to promote member involvement that we are writing an ebook about the subject! We pray that it will truly meet your needs and serve you as you serve others.

We would love to hear and include your ideas on how to improve member involvement. Please share your experiences with leaders everywhere by leaving a comment here on this blog.

Thank you for serving and sharing,
Denise & Kristen
www.homeschoolgroupleader.com
Check out our recommended resources.

Tuesday's Tip

True Support

Incorporate prayer for one another in your meetings. Taking your cares and concerns to the Lord together is true fellowship and true support that we all need.

Friday's Answer: Creating a Web Site

What are good tutorials on web site creation?

One of the first and most important tasks for a homeschool group is connecting its members. Today, most people connect by the computer.

The benefits of having a web site for your group are many:
* way of sending announcements
* keeping a calendar
* posting photos
* building a sense of community when you're not physically meeting together
* keeping track of members
* providing chat rooms/chat topics
* printing out online forms from home
* automating messages or reminders
* taking polls
* advertising your group

You've got options when it comes to creating a web site. Several of these following suggestions we make we have used ourselves and are a good place to start you on your web site way.

Build a simple group web site for free at:
groups.yahoo.com
meetup.com

To build a more in-depth web site using helpful and attractive templates:
homeschool-life.com (If you sign up with Homeschool-Life, please let them know we referred you to them. Thank you!)
homestead.com

If you are an adventurous techie, consider building a from-scratch site with the aid of the software Dreamweaver or Front Page. There are tons of tutorials out there on YouTube. Also, for these softwares, you will need a web hosting company such as GOT Hosting to put your site online.

These are some great leads for you to research and explore. Let your creative juices start flowing!

We'll see you online!
Kristen & Denise
www.homeschoolgroupleader.com
Check out our recommended resources.

Friday's Answer: Be the Bad Guy!

"How do other leaders deal with members who always RSVP and pay for events late?"

Ring! It's a another sign up after you have already turned in the final count. You let a little exasperation show in your voice as you make promises to work them in. They apologize, but you know they will do it again. What can you do to relieve the stress and extra work? Here's our best advice.

1. Communicate your deadline well – Make sure you give your members plenty of advance notice of any deadlines, especially anything that’s going to cost. Communicate the details and deadlines through several different mediums, such as in your newsletter, during meeting announcements, and by e-mail.

2. Set it and forget it – Set your deadline and don’t doubt yourself. If you ask for an RSVP, then it is reasonable to expect members to make a quick phone call or drop a short email to let you know they’re coming.

3. Stand your ground – Be willing to be the bad guy and say no to those who want to sign up late or don’t deal well with boundaries. Whatever level of excellence you expect of your members is what they are going to rise to over time.

4. Retrain the brain – Leave your members options as you retrain them to RSVP or to pay on time. For example, they are welcome to pay late, but it will cost extra. In doing so, you are rewarding those members who faithfully pay on time.

5. Mercy has its place – There is a time and a season for everything. And there is a time to stand your ground, and there is a time to extend a deadline. If you discern extenuating circumstances or feel mercy is the best call, then don’t hesitate to make an exception. Even bad guys have a soft side.

Here’s a secret to leadership success. If you set your deadlines a couple of days earlier than you really need to, then when you get those late calls, you always get to say yes and be the good guy.

Christmas blessings,

Denise & Kristen
www.homeschoolgroupleader.com

Tuesday's Tip!

Say “Cheese!”

Drop by your local newspaper with a photo from your group’s latest activity. Include a caption, and don’t forget to use your spell-check!

Friday's Answer: Web Site Apathy

“How to get more participation? We have over 100 families on
our yahoo loop and yet only about 10 show up to different things. We are averaging 2-3 families per event.”

Three things come to our mind here.

#1 As a yahoo group, do the members clearly know what the vision or purpose of the group is? Whether your group is primarily for online support through emails or primarily a connection for real-world activities, it needs to be stated clearly somewhere on your front page.

The key word here is “primarily.” If the members joined for the purpose of getting online ideas and support, then don’t stress about trying to get them together for activities. Maybe they aren’t coming to activities because it simply doesn’t fit their need or reason for joining your group. Assess your group’s needs and clearly communicate the group’s vision to those who are signing on with you.

#2 Take a poll of your members. Find out what your members want and how often they want it. Get as much feedback as you can through email, personal phone calls or face-to-face contact. Multiple choice polls make it much easier for them to zip back an answer to you and make it much easier for you to assess the needs of your group.

#3 If your members still need to be inspired to action, consider having a cool giveaway every once in awhile to offer them some incentive. For example, the first 25 to respond to such and such will have their names entered into a drawing for two passes to the museum. Make the giveaway something affordable, and have fun being creative with your reward if your budget isn’t very big.

Hope this helps!
Denise & Kristen

www.HomeschoolGroupLeader.com