Can Volunteers be Paid?

As homeschool groups grow and change, leaders face new challenges and responsibilities. It is so important to gain the knowledge needed to make right decisions and fulfill legal requirements. Knowing where to go to find truly reliable information is critical.

Carol Topp, CPA is just such an expert to go to gain the financial knowledge you need. She offers many ways to learn what is needed for homeschool groups and co-ops through books, private consultations, webinars, speaking engagements and her blog. One of Carol's recent blog posts answers an important question from a homeschool group leader about paying workers and volunteers within the co-op. The situation and Carol's wise answer can be found here:
http://www.homeschoolcpa.com/paying-co-op-leaders/

P.S. Tax time is upon us and Carol has tons of info on homeschool groups and co-ops filing with the IRS correctly, as well. It is all at HomeschoolCPA.com.

Our e-book, One By One: The Homeschool Leader's Guide to Motivating Your Members, is found at www.HomeschoolGroupLeader.com.

Nobody Else Like Nanno

A week ago today, my husband's grandmother passed away. We've been a little quiet here on the blog because, well, life happens. . . and death, too. This past week was time spent well with family and friends who loved this precious lady. And if I may, I'd like to share a little of her legacy borne over nearly a century of living with you here.

Beatrice Hawkins Fagala loved Jesus all her life and left her family a rich heritage of hospitality. We used to gather every Monday night at her house for dinner. When my kids were so little and times were tighter than tight, I always knew we'd eat well that night! :-D She always knew how to spread a feast fit for kings.

She also left us a rich heritage of faithfulness. Born in a covered wagon on the dusty trails of Texas, Nanno was the youngest of five and 10 years younger than her only sister, Ala Mae. Closer than any two people I've ever known, these strikingly beautiful sisters treated one another and others with great kindness and grace. Over the years, Nanno fell in love, married and had two children and, eventually, 6 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren.

My prayer today is that every person has at least one "Nanno" in their life. My husband's grandmother was as sweet as the tea she was famous for and as delicate as the most beautiful prairie flower. I miss her deeply and am so thankful for the years we had to love one another.

As I reflect on Nanno's life accomplishments, I find myself reflecting on our past year here at Homeschool Group Leader. We have just completed a year's worth of Tuesday Tips and Friday's Answers! I can hardly believe that. We have had a blast doing those posts and we hope you have been blessed by it, too.

Life is full of transitions and for 2010, we are starting something fresh and new here on the blog that promises to be full of wisdom and help that we all need! Be watching for that in January, but for now, we are just going to enjoy sharing with you a fun post here and there through Christmastime.

To good memories and a bright future,

Kristen

P.S. You can find our popular, new e-book on motivating your members at http://www.homeschoolgroupleader.com/

Friday's Answer: Involved Members Vs. Burn Out

How do we help motivate members to get involved (and not get burned out as leaders)?

This question connects what many have observed--the correlating ratio of leader burn-out to member involvement. When a homeschool group leader does all the work with little help from others, they use up all their reserve and feel like they have nothing left with which to continue. Frustration and exhaustion can overcome their good intentions.

How do you, a leader, protect yourself from this weary end? How do you enlist members to help lighten your load? Homeschool group leaders have been asking these questions for decades. Your leader stress will be greatly alleviated by remembering these realities:

1. Learn to delegate and ask others personally to help with specific jobs.
2. If no one volunteers to help with a particular project, let it go and do not overdo it.
3. Keep relationships at the forefront of your job description, not tasks or activities.

Very soon, within this month, our answer-packed e-book One by One: The Homeschool Group Leader's Guide to Motivating Your Members will be available to answer these pertinent questions. Keep in touch so you don't miss out on the great money-saving deal for early orders. We will help by sending emails, facebook messages and blog posts with details to keep you connected. (You still have to time to post a comment for a chance for a free e-book, too.)

Thankful for servant-leaders like you,
Denise & Kristen
www.homeschoolgroupleader.com
deniseandkristen@homeschoolgroupleader.com
Great Resources in our Store

Friday's Answer: Be the Expert

Every few months we are going to highlight certain resources that you, as a homeschool group leader, should have at your fingertips to answer your members' questions. In other words, information that will add to your important experience and raise you to the level of "expert."

This time we wish to show you the wonderful FREE items you can download from The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. You could easily send each new member that joins your group a welcome letter with a link to each of these informative helps. What a great way to get them excited and give them tools to start homeschooling!





Are you a subscriber to The Old Schoolhouse Magazine? They fill their pages with tons of ideas and support for you. You can be blessed with this quarterly magazine and then give it as a doorprize in your group's meetings--that is, if you can part with it! Here's the link to order the digital magazine where you can print copies of an article to share with five of your members:



And here's the link to order the packed printed version that will come straight to your door:



Please share expert resources with us that you keep handy in the comment box below.
Enjoy all the freebies!
Denise & Kristen
http://www.homeschoolgroupleader.com/

P.S. Keep watching for One By One--it will be worth the wait!

Motivating Your Members Is As Easy As. . .

. . .1, 2, 3!

It's so hard to believe just one short week ago, Denise and I were having the time of our lives at the Leadership Training Conference, teaching homeschool group leaders just like yourself how to avoid being a statistic--that 80/20 statistic that says you are in the minority 20% that does all the work while the other 80% looks on.

As experts in teaching homeschool group leaders how to lead their groups successfully, we are asked a lot of questions. By far, the most common question is, "How do we motivate our members?"

Well, Denise and I say it is as easy as 1, 2, 3 to motivate your members if you know the secrets. From the comfort of your own home, you can discover these little known secrets that have been hiding in plain sight!

In just 3 days, on Sunday, November 1 at 4 pm CST, you can get your hands on the e-guide that may very well change the way you lead. This 80-page e-guide will reveal tons of tips and simple strategies to help you motivate every member and increase your volunteers and to find more time in your day to enjoy the things you love most.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

But don't take our word for it. . . Listen to what our friend, Texas Home School Coalition Leader Liasion Sheila Campbell, has to say about One by One: The Homeschool Group Leader's Guide to Motivating Your Members:

"I really cannot say enough about this book! Denise and Kristen have really captured the heart of leadership with One by One. All groups are made up of people--not mere members--and it is the process of connecting with those people that builds strong leadership and, more importantly, strong relationships."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To celebrate the launch of our very first e-book, we are running a CONTEST through Saturday. One lucky winner will receive a copy of One by One as our special thank you for leaving a comment on our blog. Here's how the CONTEST works:

In 100 words or less, post a comment to our blog by midnight Saturday night telling us what this guide would mean to you as a homeschool group leader. Be sure to tell us what homeschool group you serve. Feel free to include a link to your group's website. Denise and I will be the final judges and we will announce the winner Sunday morning.

Happy posting and good luck!

Warmly,
Kristen & Denise
www.homeschoolgroupleader.com

Friday's Answer on Saturday!

We are having so much fun this weekend at the THSC Leadership Conference! Tim Lambert loaned us his lap top so we could tell you all about it! Our hotel room looks out on a lovely countryside prayer chapel. And beyond that, we can see a lake with a gazebo on several acres of rolling campgrounds. We are having so much fun that last night, Amberlyn, Kristen's 14 year old daughter, kept hushing us so she could go to sleep. :-)

We are hearing homeschool group leaders talk about how they love to come here to receive great encouragement and tons of hope. This is the annual Leadership Conference THSC hosts for homeschool group leaders in Texas. It is exciting to meet so many leaders, relax and fellowship with them, and glean amazing wisdom from them.

Norm Wakefield, the main speaker, challenges us every time to humility and repentence and revival in our hearts. His humble words renew our purpose as leaders.

We just came out of an amazing workshop where Doug and Patsy Arnold of Texas' Special Kids shared from their own experiences how homeschool group leaders can help families of children with special needs. It was so good, we can't wait to talk to them more about that.

Sheila Campbell also shared her touching story with us about what it's like for single moms who are homeschooling. She gave us insight on how to come alongside these special women. We believe you will be hearing more from her!

We also had the opportunity to conduct a workshop on the secrets to motivating your group members to get involved. One of our favorite parts was how people jumped in and shared inspiring ideas of what's worked for them. We were all encouraged! It was so much fun!!

The whole experience is one we are so grateful to be a part of!
Kristen & Denise
P.S. Be watching our web site--our new ebook is coming Nov. 1!

Friday's Answer: Homeschool Leader, Do You Need Help?

We know that being a homeschool group leader is not an easy job. You have taken on extra responsibilities in addition to homeschooling your own children. But help is on the way! We are pleased to announce that HomeschoolCPA, Carol Topp, now has several ebooks and audios available on her website, HomeschoolCPA.com, to help homeschool leaders.

Carol graciously allowed us to use her ebook, Paying Workers in a Homeschool Organization, as a free giveaway earlier this year. If you missed getting your free copy, Carol has it available for immediate download for the low price of $7.00. You will receive much more than $7.00 of her CPA knowledge when you buy this ebook.

Link: http://homeschoolcpa.com/bookstore/paying-workers-ebook/

She also has audios of what she has presented at homeschool conventions. Get your leadership team together and listen to "How to Manage a Homeschool Organization." Carol will even send you the handout of the slides, so it feels like you are in her workshop at a homeschool convention!

Click on this link for Carol's other products, all written specifically for homeschool leaders! http://homeschoolcpa.com/homeschool-leader-do-you-need-help/

Helping one another be successful,
Denise & Kristen
HGLeader Facebook fan page
I Am a Homeschool Group Leader

Friday's Answer: Progress on Our Book

"When is your first ebook going to be released?"

Exciting news! We are polishing our first ebook and sending it to the reviewers this weekend. We are so happy to see all our work and hours and ideas come together in an ebook we are proud of.

We have listened to your questions and found a majority of your needs were about how to motivate your members. The answers were too involved for a Friday's Answer causing this beneficial ebook to gradually develop:

One By One: The Homeschool Group Leader's Guide to Motivating Your Members

We are happy to announce that the release date of this invaluable ebook will be by the end of this month--just a few short weeks away! Stay posted for the final release date.

We can't wait!

Denise & Kristen

P.S. Thanks for your top tips on what has worked for you in motivating your members! We are incorporating them into the ebook and including your name. We love them!

Friday's Answer: Effective Example

How can I be an effective leader?

This past summer I had the opportunity to visit the Nimitz Museum of the Museum of the Pacific War in Fredericksburg, Texas. I was intrigued as I learned about Admiral Nimitz for the first time. (My history-buff brother, Dan, knew all about him from studying World War II and couldn't believe I didn't know who Nimitz was. In my defense, we hadn't yet reached that era in our homeschooling. . . .)

As I studied the exhibits, quotes and tidbits of Admiral Nimitz' life it became obvious to me that he was an effective leader. I was so impressed by the character of this man. Those who worked with him and under him respected him and spoke well of him. Even President Roosevelt depended on Nimitz. Our victory in the Pacific theater is credited to his great leadership.

What made him such an effective leader? We can find the answers by studying his life and his example. As we glean from his wisdom, we can pattern after his success and be a more effective leader in our own community leadership roles. Here are some reasons for his effectiveness that really stood out as I wandered through the memories of his life:

• He Credited Others -- When his hometown asked to build a museum for him, Admiral Nimitz asked that they build it for all those who served under him. They were the heros in his eyes. He wrote, "Among the Americans serving on Iwo island, uncommon valor was a common virtue."
• He Credited God -- Nimitz asked "the Almighty to protect the nation's ships at sea." In his most famous prayer, he said, "God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right even though I think it is hopeless."
  
• He Personified Courage -- Nimitz displayed courage numerous times and took risks when he felt it was needed. He never wavered or backed down in conflict whether he was facing a dangerous battle with the enemy or an intense meeting with doubters. His courage empowered him to send everything he had to Midway and win in the face of probable failure.
  
• He Respected All -- Nimitz said, "Some of the best advice I've had comes from the junior officers and the enlisted men." Loyalty and unity were strong in his meetings because he listened to and acted on much of his subordinates' recommendations.
  
• He Balanced Life -- At all times Nimitz remained calm, pleasant, easy-going and rarely lost his temper. "The advice of my grandfather returned to me: don't worry about things over which you have no control."
  
• He Supported Staff -- Many times Nimitz went against popular opinion to promote or keep certain officers in important positions. Then he would trust their judgement, encourage them and not intervene. His discernment was well rewarded as these men rose to lead well. He said, "Leadership consists of picking good men and helping them do their best."

It would be easy to go on and on about Admiral Nimitz' character, life, and quality of leadership, but since this is a blog and not a book, it would be better to let you discover more about him on your own. His life is an example of excellence and effective leadership. I hope that you are as intrigued and as happy as I was to have been introduced to his story.

To your success,
Denise

Homeschool Leader Resources

Guest Friday's Answer: Friendly Feedback

This week we wish to highlight the opportunity to make friends with other homeschool group leaders from around the country and to enjoy insightful discussions together through Facebook. Here is one example of one helpful discussion that began in June when this question was asked:

Our group has grown to over 100 families and it is often difficult to get feedback from our members. When we have surveys we only get 1/3 to 1/2 to respond. If you have any suggestions on how your group has made strides in this area, please let me know.

Here's a sample of other leaders' shared experiences, wisdom and encouragement in response:

"Have a drawing for a prize from among the respondents....you could even up the ante by. . . ." (continue)

". . . in general surveyors find that only 10-20% of . . ." (continue)

"We had a drawing for a prizes when doing a survey among. . . ." (continue)

Join in. Chime in. And make homeschool group leader friends on Facebook.

"I am a Homeschool Group Leader" Facebook Group

Chat later,
Denise & Kristen
www.homeschoolgroupleader.com
books & more

Friday's Answer: Workload??

How much everyday work is there involved in running a homeschool Co-op?

Now this is a question for our co-op leaders with experience! Please respond with your experiences by clicking the "Comments" link at the bottom of this post and writing it in the box given. Your knowledge is valuable and helpful.

Thanks!

Denise & Kristen

www.homeschoolgroupleader.com

Books Available

Friday's Answer: Instant Breather

We here at Homeschool Group Leader get a lot of questions about how to live a balanced life when serving so many roles as a mom, wife, daughter, teacher, leader, volunteer, etc.

Elizabeth Prentiss once said something worth remembering and applying to our busy leader lives:

"If you could once make up your mind in the fear of God never to undertake more
work of any sort than you can carry on calmly, quietly, without hurry or flurry, and the instant you feel yourself growing nervous and like one out of breath, would stop and take breath--you would find this simple, common-sense rule doing for you what no prayers or tears could ever accomplish."

I remember sitting around the house a lot after my sixth child, Kathryn Elyse, was born. I had just had a baby and my van was in the shop--the perfect "excuses" for doing NOTHING and going NOWHERE. It was delightful. I lounged and I played with my newborn for two full weeks. My other kids were calmer and more well behaved. My house stayed decluttered--pretty much. I had time to piddle on projects that had been screaming at me for months.

I kept saying to myself, "Why can't it always be like this? Why do I think I have to live at warp speed?" Thoughts of rebellion against the rat race surged through my mind.

Then, I took the baby to church for the first time. Sigh. That's all she wrote. Before I knew it, all my concrete determinations to slow down came to a screeching halt. Soon, I was back in the rat race wishing for those bygone days of peace and quiet.

Leaders don't always have the luxury of sitting and lounging, but the instant we feel things getting too hectic, we can take notice and make some simple changes to slow things down a bit.

When you feel yourself getting out of breath, what's your favorite way to stop and take a breather?? Will you share some of your favorite ways that can inspire the rest of us? Do share!

Blessings for a breather or two,
Kristen
www.homeschoolgroupleader.com

Friday's Answer: Debt of the Mouth

How do I balance my new role as support group leader with my already busy roles of wife, mother, homeschool-teacher, etc?

As a new school year begins, the idea of balancing current responsibilities with new responsibilities can weigh heavy on a new leader's mind. We want you to remember a catchy phrase that will save you tons of stress and time:

Underpromise, overdeliver.

That's it. Simple isn't it. Or is it?

When you say yes to everything under the sun, you can quickly go into debt--debt of the mouth. And what if you can't "pay up?" What if your child ends up puking through the night or your husband is called away out of town with his job and he needs you to mow the lawn, get the car inspected and pay the taxes all while he's gone or you just realize that math hasn't been graded in, like, three months. . . ? We often make commitments, fully expecting to be able to follow through, and then. . .life happens and suddenly, we can't pay up.

It's like personal finances and debt. We make commitments to borrow money, fully expecting to be able to repay the debt in the allotted time, then life happens and suddenly we can't. It is better never to go into that debt in the first place!

So. . . spend your yes-es wisely. When you invest of yourself and your time, make it count for the most.

When you underpromise and overdeliver, you will be free to enjoy your time as a servant leader, investing in the hearts of homeschoolers, owing no one anything but a debt of love!

We promise!
Kristen & Denise
www.homeschoolgroupleader.com

Guest Friday's Answer:

We were delighted to meet Martha Sides at the THSC Leadership Conference last October. She is a veteran leader with the unique wisdom of overseeing one group amiably become two groups.

Martha has homeschooled since 1992 and has been the Co-Coordinator for REACH Co-op near Houston, TX. REACH is a co-op that ministered to over 100 families this year. They offer classes, fellowship, ministry opportunities, formals and graduation. When their co-op had grown to over 150 families, their group planted a new group. Now both groups are full and thriving. "What a blessing to be able to serve so many families!" says Martha. ~Kristen & Denise

As a homeschool group leader, how do you make sure that the group will continue and not depend only on you?

Our group started as a small group of eight ladies. Somehow, I didn't volunteer for any other job, and I ended up being the co-head coordinator for the group. Our group has always prayed at our meetings, but we have started to depend more on God and found that when we let the need be known to our group and God, it would get filled.

It didn't take long for us to see that we needed to delegate. But when you do, things either don't get done right or not at all! I also have found that it helps to have an assistant to almost anything. The more people who are involved, the stronger your group.

I would recommend having a leader and an assistant in training, yes, to take your place someday. Some of you may be counting the days til you can get out of your office and others thrive on it! I have thrived on it, and there was a time that I couldn't imagine stepping down. I have happily stepped down this year because my co-leader is great and has brought in new ideas...not mine but great ideas that will help our group to grow. If the same people run it forever, it will die...

In bringing in assistants, don't look for a perfect match to the job, you weren't when you stepped into the job. I would recommend a younger/newer homeschool mom to work along beside you. You can mentor her in the job and in homeschooling/parenting.

My biggest piece of advice is to remember your first job is to your family, and your group should take second place...I realize that there will be times when you will need to put your group first, but be sure that they are short periods of time and not very often.

Being a leader can be so much fun and open so many doors to friendships, just be open to stepping aside someday to let someone else be a NEW blessing to the group!

Martha Sides
Blessed wife of Steve and nine wonderful children/adults: Joseph 24, Enoch 20, Mary 20, John 19, James 18, Crystal 15, Robert 14, Sara 12 and Matthew 8

Friday's Answer: Overcoming Inadequacies

How do you start? How do you overcome taking the beginning steps of starting a group when you are not sure what you want it to be? . . .when you have to know things because it is a group for homeschoolers within a large church? . . . and if their name (and inherently Jesus' name) is on it, you want it to be done right? . . .when you are blinded by your own failings and weaknesses?

Establishing a vision is the first important step of starting a group. When you are not sure what you want the group to be, begin by jotting down a list of dreams or goals that you desire for the group.

Do some research on the internet looking up various groups and their mission statements. Copy down what you like from each and begin to pull together your vision through prayer.

Find a couple of other homeschool families to join together with you in planning and prayer. You can discuss the goals and needs of your families, bringing everyone's best ideas to the vision.

Be careful. It is easy to think through the process too long and agonize over every detail trying to be perfect. You need a balance between getting the work done and having it be excellent. Excellence is a wonderful goal, but becomes unhealthy when it overtakes you with fear. Fear can paralyze you by reminding you of your failings and inadequacies. Fears of not being perfect, of making a mistake, of dishonoring the Lord, of disappointing others, of the unknown, of not doing things right, of failing, or of being weak can hold you back from any acomplishment. Here's more on how to overcome fears, including those of your own inadequacies--Friday's Answer: Overcoming Crippling Fear.

The Bible says in Philippians not to worry. When we are tempted to worry, there is a simple solution. God wants us to forget the worry and tell Him what we NEED. If we follow that immediately with thanking Him for all He's done for us in the past, a wall of belief is built. This wall of belief blocks the worry and propels us forward in faith--faith that He will meet our newest need.

Many blessings as you start your group,
Denise & Kristen
http://www.homeschoolgroupleader.com/
Leader Store

Friday's Answer: We Want to Grow

We are a new group, 3 years old. We have 49 families. We would like to grow. What is the best way to advertise and promote the group to others in our city?

Congratulations on having a group to uplift homeschool families in your area and bless your community! We're glad that you're wanting to grow and continue to have an impact on your city.

There are several ways to get the word out to your community about your group. One of the simplest ideas to advertise is to let your 49 families spread the word personally. Make up an eye-catching flyer for each family to put up in their churches or places that they frequent.

Local librarians will often post your group's contact information and store flyers to hand out to homeschool-seeking families.

Local newspapers appreciate copy, so consider submitting your group's meeting and activity times for their community calendar. By keeping one of your meetings consistent in time and place, people will always know where and when to find you. This will also help the community calendar to stay the same and save you time not having to change the information each week.

Before a field trip or service project, call the local newspaper or local news broadcast and let them know what you'll be doing. Offer for them to come out and do a story on your group's activity.

These ideas work because they are an efficient use of your time. You give the information to one and they spread it to many for you. These also don't cost any more than the printing of the flyers.

Thanks for spreading the word about Homeschool Group Leader!

Denise & Kristen

www.homeschoolgroupleader.com

Friday's Answer: Premature Votes

In our group there are seven officers. Four votes needed to approve. My question is how do I deal with the frustration of a vote that I believe is taken prematurely before exploring all the pro's and con's and that does not appear to be well-thought out?

Members often feel confident when leaders are decisive, even if the decisions aren't perfect. It's the old adage, "Something is better than nothing." One of the benefits of coming to decisions quickly is that much is accomplished in a short amount of time and mistakes can be fixed as you go along.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, "In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."

However, members often feel confident when leaders take time to think decisions through. It avoids the old adage, "Haste makes waste." One of the benefits of balancing the pros and cons of decisions is that fewer mistakes are made and the leader is more prepared for whatever comes. The members trust the decisions to be the best possible because every possible angle has been considered.

Abraham Lincoln used to say that he bounded thoughts on the north, bounded them on the south, bounded them on the west and bounded them on the east before he would let go of them.
He was said to "wear thoughts threadbare."

Both types of leadership have their value and are needful. Together, we bring balance to one another in our various approaches to life.

But when you have experienced negative consequences from hastily-made decisions, then this is what we recommend to avoid that in the future:

1. Set an agenda for the meeting--that simply means to have a plan for your meeting that keeps the leaders on track and thorough. Here's more.

2. Set rules for the agenda--for example, a member or officer may submit an idea, but it won't be voted on until at least the following meeting. That provides time to pray, consider and discuss it as much as needed before the vote. Here's more.

If all else fails and you are still frustrated, speak your mind in love and then purpose to work with the decision that is made for the benefit of the group members.

Kristen & Denise

www.hgleaderblog.blogspot.com

Guest Friday's Answer: Stop Interrupting, Please!

We're excited to bring you leadership wisdom from wonderful veteran leaders around the country in our "Guest Friday's Answer."

This month's guest post is written by Heidi St. John. Jay and Heidi St. John have been married for over 18 years and are the homeschooling parents of six children who range in age from sixteen to two. They founded First Class Homeschool Ministries to work with parents and pastors establishing an international network of homeschool cooperatives.

Here Heidi answers this homeschool group leader with understanding and wisdom that we are sure will encourage you today.
~Denise & Kristen

We have one mom who is your typical 'take over' mom. She is full of ideas for our group, yet she is extremely unreliable and is a poor example to others, especially our new members. Whatever she says she will plan for the group seems to fail.

When I'm leading our homeschool meetings she talks whenever there is a pause in conversation. She interrupts others as well (or talks in great lengths), and often I see the frustration others feel when she does this. She talks with a very slow voice, yet one that is commanding, so it is hard to interject and stop her.

I want to be polite, but inside I'm just thinking, "Why won't this woman stop talking so much and just listen to the wisdom of others!?!" She seems to constantly have to build herself up and is your typical 'know it all', yet her children are fairly young and she is not a seasoned homeschooler.

I have to remind myself that I not only am a Christian, but a leader, and I need to be a good example to others- especially those I lead. I seek to do His will and lead the group with true humility and wisdom, but this issue has me stumped. Please help!

Oh boy - I think everyone can relate to this on one level or another.

I've experienced that many times over nearly 10 years of leading homeschool co-ops. We have had serious splits in leadership and even in our co-op over personality differences too. I remember once when our very first First Class Co-op was young (in 2001) we had a mom who was always interrupting. It was a challenge for me not to throw my coffee at her at times! :0)

There is never an easy answer for things like this but I thought of a few things the Lord has taught me over the years that have helped me through similar situations:

• Remember Colossians 3:13: "Put up with each other, and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." We need to be about our Father's business. Women, Christian homeschooling is a target of the enemy!! He will target us and do his best to bring about disunity. We need to be on guard against it. So often, I see homeschool groups split over things that have little or no eternal significance and yet we give them a lot of attention and energy, and as a result, we get side-tracked from what God really wants us to do.


• Be careful not to let yourself become easily offended. Now I'm not saying that this gal is not offensive :0) Ask yourself, "what is the underlying issue here?" Pray for God to show you. Is it insecurity? A need to feel needed or included? It could be that this mom needs affirmation and doesn't know how else to get it. Ask the Lord for His eyes and heart toward this mom. I believe that if we ask the Lord, He can and will give us a measure of grace. Your Christ-like character will prove itself over time, and God will reward your desire to become more like Him.


• Walk in the light. This is what my dear friend Diana Waring is always telling me - and what she means is that everything we do needs to be able to stand up to the scrutiny of Scripture. Are we being patient? Longsuffering? Gentle? Bearing with one-another? Loving? Telling the truth? And speaking of the the truth...


• Speak the truth - in love. (Eph. 4:15) Check your motives. If you decide that you do need to talk to this mom - then do it by yourself first --follow Matthew 18. Just last week I had the unpleasant job of "confronting" two women who were gossiping. I hated the thought that I had to confront anyone. I put it off for three weeks hoping the situation would "right itself." It didn't. Two weeks ago, the Lord reminded me gently that it's our enemy, satan, who wants us divided! My enemy is not these homeschool moms. It is satan himself! My job as a leader is to lead in a way that brings unity. My role was to remind these precious women of God's desire that we model unity, not only as Christians, but as Christian homeschoolers! Because of prayer, I was able to speak the words I needed to in humility and love, and in both cases, we were able to pray together and hug each other. :0) (I've had it go much worse, and I have made my share of mistakes over the years!)


• Wear the mantle of authority God has given you as you lead this group. If God has called you to lead, do so with boldness, authority and humility! ( I know it's a tough combination.) It's okay to say to a mom who interrupts constantly, "Excuse me, please wait until Susan is finished and then you may speak, too." However, if you can, talk to this mom in private first.

I hope this helps you a little. I'll be praying for you and the families in your group.

Blessings!
-heidi st. john

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Friday's Answer: Kids Running Wild

"How do I inspire more structured time (like co-op art/ music/ etc.) classes - when so many people just want to let their kids run wild at the group meetings?"

This same question came up during a group leaders' meeting at a recent homeschool conference. Everyone had great ideas and encouragement for the leader:

1. Have separate meetings for "free" time, mom's time, and class time
2. Gather for a meeting to explain the problem and set rules and guidelines together
3. Choose classes and activities that everyone is interested in
4. Divide the meetings with half of the time being structured and half of the time given to free play
5. Recognize that boys play more wildly and give them freedom to be boys

The leader graciously accepted these points and expressed that she had done all of them to no avail. She said that half the group wants rules and structure and the other half does not. None of these solutions had helped her group.

Hank Tate, a veteran leader since the eighties, began to get to the heart of the leader by asking if she had spoken to any family individually. She had not. There was a fear issue, especially with confrontation. He explained that she needed to choose one family with the most difficult problem and go to them directly (preferably with her husband or another leader) and be very firm in explaining the problem and expectations. Don't get worried if they threaten to leave. He said whether they get mad and leave or stay and change, you have solved your problem. Then deal with the next family, if needed. This isn't a fun or pretty part of leadership, but it is necessary sometimes.

To your fearlessness,

Denise & Kristen

http://www.homeschoolgroupleader.com/

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Friday's Answer: Spouse Support

About a year ago, I was able to meet some wonderful homeschool group leaders at the Woodlands conference here in Texas. One couple I met has worked together in leadership with the wife being the primary leader of the homeschool group.

The husband stated that with his job, etc, he was not able to lead, but that he was able to support her. I was able to ask him how he serves his family and wife while she attends her meetings, talks on the phone and serves the group. This husband (who wished to remain anonymous) had some really great answers that I'll list here. (Disclaimer: We are not responsible if you use this list as a not-so-subtle hint for your spouse!)

9 Ways a Dad Supports His Group Leader Wife

1. Cooks--frees up time for her to be on the phone with group members by cooking a meal for the family
2. Bathtime--gives the kids their baths during the evening while she is on the computer answering emails
3. Grocery Shops--does the grocery shopping while she is home reading with the kids
4. Mr. Principal--is involved as the principal of their home school to keep the family on track
5. Grades--grades the subjects of math and science for all the kids each evening lightening her load
6. Labs--is responsible for the science labs with the family
7. Watches--takes care of and watches the kids during leader meetings
8. Encourages--lifts her up when down and encourages her to continue leading and keep going even on difficult days
9. Freedom--tries not to ever put her on a guilt trip

It's such a team effort, isn't it?! Let's remember to appreciate our supporting spouses and recognize all the wonderful ways they serve, help, support, give, encourage, balance, pray, lead, and care for us and the success of our families and our work. They are amazing!

Hats off to our spouses,
Denise

http://www.homeschoolgroupleader.com/
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