Friday, June 19, 2009

Friday's Answer: Hold Your Tongue

We here at Homeschool Group Leader often get questions about how to handle conflict within a homeschool group. The conflict may be between members, between members and leaders, even between leaders. . . regardless of who's in conflict, conflict hurts!

We believe that there is one very effective way to handle conflict that not many people think about--and that is to hold your tongue.

But, but, . . . they are saying untrue things and slandering my name. . . but, their drama is causing stress among our group members. . . but, they are gossiping. Isn't holding my tongue a cop-out? Won't people think I'm weak and unable to lead?

Holding your tongue at a time when untruths and injustices are running rampant seems counterproductive, but consider that Christ held his tongue--often--when situations were chaotic. He was slandered. His disciples misunderstood the Great Plan. People gossiped around him and about him to the point they wanted to kill him. But he did not lash out every time he had the opportunity to rebuke.

Elisabeth Elliot said it well, "Never miss an opportunity to hold your tongue."

Never. Miss. An. Opportunity. . . hmm.

As a leader, you will have numerous opportunities to practice holding your tongue. And when you do, you will show strength and confidence that there is One who can truly set the records straight. God will always bring the truth to light. He will defend reputations. He will rebuke.

So, if you choose to speak anything--speak love and watch the healing begin.

Kristen & Denise

For more wonderful wisdom, grace your home and heart with Elizabeth Elliot's book, Keep a Quiet Heart

1 comment:

Happyhome said...

A wonderful reminder. We are a fairly new group (a year and a half) and recently had our first major conflict. Even though I was not directly involved, as the leader people looked to me to be involved. It was tough. I prayed, but never felt led to step in. I finally talked to the person, not to rehash what had taken place, but just to let her know I loved her as a sister in Christ, whether or not I agreed with what had happened. It was not easy and it is this part of leadership I do not like. Remembering Jesus' example helps when you want to jump into defense mode. Thanks!